“Can I ask your advice…”

18 Jan

I had a good laugh today at an article forwarded on to me by one of my LinkedIn contacts, about the misguided perceptions behind giving and receiving advice, from professional development group Fish Out of Water (FOOW).  Amazing, how EASY (and quite honestly, detrimental) it is to gloss over the vast difference between, ‘advice’, ‘truth’ and ‘realization’.

Think about it – as a woman, I’m guilty of having asked SOMEONE (boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, roommate), the timeless “Does this make me look [insert self-depricating adjective here]?”  And likewise with any similarly stereotyped inquiries that go along with being a man.  Now consider this- did I really want their truthful answer?  Or did I really want the answer that made me feel better in the moment?

Quite honestly neither scenario really does anyone any good.  Because whether you get a false response loaded with awkwardness-avoiding sympathy, or you get a brash and heartless truth, it’s not going to lead to you a positive end result.  What we should consider is that it is not about seeking anyone’s “advice” at all, but rather asking a question that prompts us to come up with our OWN answer, and act upon our own truth accordingly.  After all, YOUR truth is really the only one that matters, because let’s face it… it’s the only one you’re going to respect in the end.

Check out the rest of the article here.


One Response to ““Can I ask your advice…””

  1. Gwen Ward January 19, 2010 at 12:19 am #

    Thanks for the compliment and referral to my blog: Giving Advice: Come again when you can’t stay so long!

    Please feel free to check out some of our other blogs at:

    •Painfully Employed: They got it bad and that aint good (http://www.foowater.com/blogs/?p=118)
    •The Accidental Manager: In some train wrecks you may be the train! http://www.foowater.com/blogs/?p=123
    •Career Growing Pains: Some Grow UP and Some Grow Old (http://www.foowater.com/blogs/?p=114)

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